Parenthood truly is a rollercoaster! One day your child is a little angel, and the next, they are chewing on their nails, screaming, or seem stuck to their tablet like it's a lifeline. As a parent, your might be asking yourself, *advisably Why do kids engage in these habits? And more importantly, how do we help them reduce unhealthy habits and behaviors?

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Bad habits in kids are more common than you’d think, but the good news is they’re not set in stone. By understanding why these habits form and using thoughtful strategies, you can help your child replace negative behaviors with positive ones that stick. In this blog, we’ll explore the reasons behind kids’ bad habits, share real-world examples, and provide actionable steps to foster lasting change.

Why Do Kids Develop Bad Habits?

Kids don’t wake up one day deciding to develop habits that drive you up the wall. These behaviors often stem from a mix of biology, environment, and emotional needs. Let’s break it down:

1. Seeking Comfort or Coping

Kids often turn to habits like thumb-sucking, nail-biting, or excessive screen time as a way to self-soothe. These behaviors can feel like a security blanket during stressful moments, like starting a new school or dealing with family changes. For example, a 7-year-old might chew on their pencil when anxious about a test, not because they love the taste of graphite, but because it calms their nerves Kids don’t just wake up one day and say I am going to develop these habits that drive you insane. The behavior that a kid exhibits comes from a combination of biology, surroundings, and emotional needs. Let’s break down the origin of the habit.

2. Comfort Seeker or Coping

Children often use habits such as thumb-sucking, nail-biting, and excessive media consumption as a self-comfort tool. These habits offer a blanket of comfort during stressful moments in their life – changing schools or an alteration in family dynamics are just two examples. A 7-year-old could have a habit of chewing on their pencil when they are anxious about a test. They don't chew on their pencil because they love the taste of graphite, they chew on their pencil because it calms them.

3. Copying Everything They See

Children are a lot like sponges - absorbing the behaviors of those around them as they live and play. If a parent or sibling has a habit (ex.- eating mindlessly while glued to the television), then kids can easily mimic the behavior because they have no reason to question it. As one example, I had the opportunity to work with a family where the father had a habit of cracking his knuckles. Within a matter of days, I noticed his 10-year-old son had started to crack his knuckles, and his rationale was that it was what "grown-ups do."

4. Boredom or a Lack of Structure

Things get dangerous when kids get bored, and boredom leads to "idle hands." If kids do not have enough stimulation or enough structure, they can pick up bad habits like excessive fidgeting (usually associated with boredom), or becoming a mindless eater out of sheer boredom. A 2018 study published in the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry evaluated children with unstructured time and ability to engage in mindless play. The researchers found those children were more likely to engage in repetitive behaviors (ex.- hair twirling, skin-picking).

5. Levels of Development

Several habits are simply aspects of development. A toddler tantrum is usually due to not having the words to express their frustration. A teenager may procrastinate because they are learning how to manage time with this level of independence. None of this behavior is inherently “bad” in the moment, but it can become problematic if it persists.

6. Reinforcement by Rewards

Habits seem to stick because, at least for a while, they are functional for kids. If a child begs and whines enough to get extra screen time or sneaks candy for a quick sugar boost, the behavior is likely to continue. It is basic human nature to repeat behavior that is rewarded.

The Impact of Bad Habits

While some habits, like twirling hair, might seem harmless, others can have bigger consequences. For instance, excessive screen time can affect sleep quality, with a 2020 study in Pediatrics linking it to reduced academic performance in kids. Habits like lying or interrupting can strain relationships, while others, like poor hygiene, might lead to social or health issues down the road.

The key? Catch these behaviors early and guide kids toward healthier alternatives before they become ingrained.

How to Replace Bad Habits with Positive Ones

Helping kids break bad habits isn’t about cracking the whip or shaming them—it’s about understanding, patience, and consistency. Here are practical, expert-backed strategies to help your child build positive habits that last:

1. Identify the Trigger

A cue precedes any habit. For example, does your child tend to bite their nails whenever they are feeling anxious? Do they tend to reach for snacks whenever they are bored? Pay attention to when and why the behavior is happening. In one case, I worked with a mom and her daughter, who, after a long day at school, spent time scrolling TikTok for a long time. We soon discovered that she was using TikTok as a way to decompress from a long day. After knowing what was triggering the response (stress), we worked on healthier ways to decompress. In her case, it was 10 minutes of dancing to her favorite music.

2. Replace, Don’t Just Remove

You can’t just tell a kid to stop doing something—it leaves a void they’ll likely fill with another bad habit. Instead, swap the negative behavior for a positive one. If your child fidgets during homework, give them a stress ball to squeeze instead of tapping their pencil. A 2019 study in Behavior Therapy found that replacing habits (rather than banning them) led to better long-term results in kids.

3. Model the Behavior You Want

Kids learn by watching you, so be the change you want to see. If you want them to stop yelling, keep your own voice calm during disagreements. If you’re pushing for healthier eating, let them see you enjoying a salad. One dad I know started running with his son to curb the boy’s habit of gaming all evening—it became their bonding time, and the screen obsession faded.

4. Use Positive Reinforcement

Celebrate small wins to keep kids motivated. If they go a day without interrupting, praise their effort or offer a small reward, like an extra bedtime story. Avoid punishment—it can backfire and make kids sneaky about their habits. According to child psychologist Dr. Laura Markham, “Positive reinforcement builds confidence, while criticism can make kids feel defeated.”

5. Create a Supportive Environment

Make it easier for kids to succeed. If junk food is a problem, stock the kitchen with healthier snacks. If screen time is the issue, set up device-free zones, like the dinner table. One family I know created a “calm corner” with books and puzzles, which their 6-year-old gravitated to instead of throwing tantrums when upset.

6. Teach Emotional Awareness

Many bad habits stem from big feelings kids don’t know how to handle. Teach them to name their emotions—anger, boredom, anxiety—and find healthy ways to cope. For instance, if your child lashes out when frustrated, show them how to take deep breaths or count to ten. Apps like Calm or Headspace for Kids can help younger ones learn mindfulness in a fun way.

7. Be Patient and Consistent

Habits don’t change overnight. Research from Health Psychology suggests it takes 21–66 days to form a new habit, depending on the person. Stay consistent with your approach, but don’t expect perfection. If your child slips up, gently redirect them instead of scolding.

Real-World Example: Turning Things Around

I want to tell you a true story about a 9 year old girl named Mia, whose parents were really frustrated with her. She would often lie about minor things like whether she had finished her homework or if she had brushed her teeth. Instead of taking away privileges, they asked Mia to earn them.

Mia was honest, they concluded, only to avoid letting her parents down, and so they rewarded her for her honesty, even if the truth was she made a mistake. They created a "truth jar" and Mia could drop in a marble every time she told the truth. Once she reach 20 marbles, she could earn something as a family (fun outing, etc..). In 2 or 3 months Mia's lying dropped dramatically, and she could see her own proud change in habit of being honest with her parents.

When to Seek Help

Most habits can be dealt with at home, but some habits, like compulsive behaviors, intense aggression, or extreme and persistent anxiety may require extra support through good social systems. If a habit interferes with your child’s everyday functioning, or if you suspect the habit may be related to other issues, it could be valuable to reach out to the child's pediatrician or a child therapist. Early intervention can work wonders!

Children pick up bad habits for a variety of reasons, often for a lack of constructive things to do or simply experiencing emotions such as stress or boredom. But you can help your child replace bad habits with positive ones, which establish them for eventual success, with some patience, understanding, and the right approach. With your child's participation, begin the process of identifying triggers, modeling good habits, and celebrating success. You are not only breaking a habit, you are teaching your child a set of skills he or she can use throughout life.